2019 Reflection | A Year Of Healing

5 min read

          Let me start off by saying 2019, has been one hell of a year. And no, I’m not exaggerating when I tell you 2019 was probably  the worst year of my life. In this post, I am opening up to y’all and I’m asking y’all to bear with me, because there’s a lot of different aspects going into it.  Over the course of the last year, I’ve learned a lot of lessons which have contributed to my healing.     

2019 SCRIPTURE | A TIME FOR EVERYTHING

Ecclesiastes 3:4
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kiil and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh
1. Remember Who You Are and Whose You Are

       At the beginning of this year, I was completely lost. I had temporarily gotten caught up in the things of this world, and forgotten who I was as a person. I was allowing people to use me and  treat me however they saw fit. I was placed in many situations where I shouldn’t have been, and did things I had no business doing. I had forgotten what I stood for, I had forgotten who I was, and more importantly WHOSE I was. I had to remind myself of who I am, and remind myself that my life belongs to God.

2.Value Your Mental Health

      I didn’t realize the importance of mental health until this year. I have personally been on a mental health roller coaster. The high’s were high and were fun while they lasted, but the low’s were lows and I hit rock bottom. Then, I found out that rock bottom had a basement. Before this year, I had a pretty bad habit of pretending things didn’t happen to me. This might sound crazy, but I would literally pretend as if any negative event, didn’t happen. Believe me when I say, that is the most unhealthy shit, ever. Rather than dealing with my problems, and healing from past situations, I would just push them off. I can tell you from experience, that’s a horrible coping mechanism because when it rains, it pours.

3. Not Everyone is Your Friend

       Come on now, I already knew this one. I mean… seriously!? I made a whole post about it. So, why has it taken me so long to finally understand it and get it through my thick skull? once I consider someone to be a friend, I tend to think very highly of them. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but I found that’s not always best. People will still use you, manipulate you, and just flat out lie to your face. But, I’ll accept the blame for this one. I learned that I can not have expectations of myself in other people

4. The Reason You're Not Healing

    I wasn’t healing because I was trying to be the person I was before the trauma. That girl is gone, and she’s never coming back. I’ve grown and I’m less naive.

5. Don't Match Energy

        You can not always do people how they do you. Matching energy can cause you to do things that aren’t within your character. For a point that’s almost always not worth proving. I was so focused on matching energy, that I didn’t even recognize myself. Imagine who you’d be if you reciprocated every time someone did you wrong. 

6. All Things Will Work Together For Your Good

     You have to remain optimistic, even when you can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though it was difficult, I managed to gain wisdom from the situations I was placed in this year.  You must find joy in those situations and believe that every thing is working together.  I am learning to wholeheartledy walk by faith, and follow God blindly.

7. Balance

       Finding balance within my life has been a constant battle. I struggled with finding balance between school, work, church, socializing and self care. It honestly just didn’t seem like there was enough time within the week. I had to create a schedule and set aside specific times/days for things that I wanted to incorporate into my week. 

8. Apologize When You're Wrong

We’re grown. There should be no problem admitting to fault. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Don’t just disregard the problem, Apologize and move on. 

9. Don't be embarrassed by the things you go through in life

     I am not defined by the things that have happened to me. There is so much more to me.

I asked God to reveal

     This year, I prayed for clarity. I asked God to reveal the intentions of those around me. I asked him to show me who was for me and who was against me. I prayed for him to show me who my real friends were. And although I prayed a countless number of prayers, I was still unprepared for the answers. But I’m glad I recieved such clarity, because I realized that I put too much faith and trust into other people. I strengthed my relationship with God. I no longer turn to people in times of stress, but I turn to God.

2020 SCRIPTURE | A YEAR FOR EMPOWERMENT

Amos 9:13-15
Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree.
“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills.

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